Breakup, separation & divorce recovery
When two paths diverge, yours still matters.
The end of a relationship can change far more than your relationship status. If you're dealing with heartbreak, uncertainty, anger or the feeling that you've lost your footing, I offer individual psychotherapy and hypnotherapy to help you find a steadier way forward.
For individuals, not couples therapy · In person in Swindon · Online across the UK
A different kind of loss
It's not just the person. Sometimes it's the future you imagined.
You might miss the relationship deeply. You might feel relieved that it has ended and then guilty for feeling relieved. You might be grieving the routines, the shared home, the family life or the plans that suddenly look different.
For some people, the hardest part is the empty space afterwards. For others, it's ongoing contact, the practical decisions or the thoughts that come late at night: What did I do wrong? How did we get here? Will I ever feel like myself again?
There isn't a correct emotional response to a breakup. You don't have to be ready to “move on”, forgive someone or feel positive about the future before asking for support.
This is individual therapy for you—whether you were left, made the decision to leave, or are still trying to make sense of an ending. It isn't couples counselling, relationship mediation or a service designed to bring a partner back.
What you may be carrying
Heartbreak rarely arrives on its own.
Separation can unsettle the parts of life that usually make us feel secure. Even when a relationship needed to end, your mind and body may need time to adjust to what has changed.
When thinking becomes exhausting
The loop that can keep you feeling stuck
After a relationship ends, it's understandable to keep revisiting what happened. Sometimes, though, the search for certainty becomes a pattern of its own.
Something brings it back
A photograph, an unanswered message, a familiar place or simply a quiet evening.
Your mind fills in the gaps
“I wasn't enough.” “I'll be alone.” “I should have seen this coming.” These can feel like facts when they're really painful interpretations.
The pattern takes more space
More checking, more rumination, less sleep or withdrawing from the people and activities that might offer some steadiness.
We can explore ways of interrupting that cycle—not by insisting you stop feeling, but by creating room for a more balanced response.
A considered approach
Support that looks ahead without dismissing what's behind you.
I work collaboratively, drawing on Solution Focused psychotherapy, clinical hypnosis, NLP-informed techniques and CBT-informed thinking tools. We choose what is appropriate for you, rather than assuming one method or one timetable fits everyone.
Solution Focused psychotherapy
We can acknowledge the loss and the realities of your circumstances while exploring what would make life a little more manageable. We'll notice strengths, useful exceptions to difficult days and practical steps towards the future you want.
Hypnotherapy & relaxation
When suitable, hypnosis can be used as a collaborative technique involving focused attention and relaxation. It may help you practise calmer responses and constructive perspectives. It isn't a way to erase memories, remove love or switch off grief.
NLP-informed techniques
Optional tools may include reframing, future rehearsal and exploring how mental images or internal language influence your reactions. These are practical approaches I may draw upon; NLP is not presented as a proven cure for grief or relationship distress.
CBT-informed elements
We may look at the relationship between thoughts, feelings and actions—for example, self-blame, worst-case predictions or avoidance—and consider more balanced alternatives. These are CBT-informed elements, not a claim to provide a separate specialist CBT programme.
Therapy is not about guaranteeing a fresh start, a new relationship or a specific emotional outcome. It is about exploring suitable support, informed choices and personal progress. We will discuss alternatives or referrals if your needs call for them.
One step at a time
Finding your footing, in your own way.
There is no timetable for heartbreak. Our conversations may involve some of these areas, in whatever order is helpful for you.
Feel heard
Say what has happened, or what you are struggling to put into words, without pressure to reach a conclusion.
Regain steadiness
Consider sleep, stress, daily routines, support networks and ways to manage difficult moments.
Rebuild self-belief
Explore self-blame, boundaries, changing identity and the strengths that remain yours.
Look ahead
Make space for choices, relationships and possibilities that reflect what matters to you now.
When life remains intertwined
Sometimes you can't just walk away and never speak again.
You might share children, a home, a business or financial responsibilities. There may be school handovers, solicitors' letters, messages you dread opening or necessary conversations that reopen old feelings.
Therapy can be a place to explore how those situations affect you: preparing for difficult communication, setting personal boundaries and staying grounded when life feels unpredictable.
This is not legal advice, a replacement for mediation or a way to influence your former partner. Where needed, practical and legal guidance should come from appropriately qualified services.
Meet your therapist
A human conversation, not a formula for getting over someone.
I'm Gary Smith, a psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist based in Swindon. My approach is warm, straightforward and Solution Focused, with room for the more complicated feelings that don't fit neatly into a plan.
You won't be asked to pretend the relationship didn't matter or pressured to reach “closure”. We can talk about what you are living with now and what might help you feel more like yourself.
Alongside my clinical practice I teach with Inspiraology Hypnotherapy Training and supervise other practitioners. I value professional boundaries, thoughtful collaboration and being clear about when other services may be more appropriate.
Related areas of support
Sometimes the breakup touches other parts of life.
These pages explore some of the concerns that can sit alongside separation and divorce. You can read more without committing to anything.
Welcoming people from nearby Wiltshire, Cirencester and surrounding areas.
Individual video appointments when suitable for your circumstances.
Good questions to ask
Before you decide.
There is no expectation that you have everything worked out before our first conversation.
Is this couples counselling or relationship reconciliation?
No. This service is for individuals dealing with the emotional effects of a relationship ending. I do not work with both partners together on reconciliation, couples counselling or mediation through this page.
Can therapy help even if I was the person who ended the relationship?
Yes. People who initiate a separation can still experience grief, guilt, uncertainty, relief and self-doubt. We can explore your experience without assuming how you ought to feel.
What if I still love my ex-partner or hope we will get back together?
You do not need to reach a particular conclusion before coming to therapy. We can work with the feelings and uncertainty you have now, and focus on choices, boundaries and your own wellbeing without trying to control someone else’s decisions.
How can Solution Focused psychotherapy help after a breakup?
We make space for what has happened while also exploring your strengths, immediate needs and the small signs that everyday life is becoming more manageable. The aim is thoughtful progress at a pace that suits you.
What is the role of hypnosis in separation or divorce recovery?
If suitable, clinical hypnosis may be offered as a relaxation and focused-attention technique to support calm and constructive reflection. It is optional, does not erase memories and cannot make someone forget a relationship.
Do you use NLP and CBT techniques?
I may draw on NLP-informed approaches to perspective and mental rehearsal, and CBT-informed ideas to notice patterns involving thoughts, feelings and behaviour. These are tailored tools, not guarantees of a particular outcome or a claim to provide a full specialist CBT programme.
Can we discuss co-parenting, contact with an ex and difficult conversations?
Yes. We can discuss the emotional impact of ongoing contact, confidence, boundaries and ways to prepare for conversations. I do not provide legal advice, mediation or formal parenting arrangements.
How many sessions will I need?
There is no fixed number. We can discuss your circumstances and goals in the free initial consultation, agree an approach if appropriate and review progress together as sessions develop.
Can I attend online if I live outside Swindon?
Yes. Where suitable, individual online appointments are available throughout the UK. In-person sessions take place at the Swindon practice.
What if I feel unsafe, overwhelmed or unable to cope?
Please tell me so we can consider whether additional or different support is appropriate. If you are in immediate danger, call 999. For urgent mental health help, use NHS 111 or the urgent support options in your nation.
Useful independent support
For accessible guidance, see NHS: grief after loss (including relationship endings) and NHS Every Mind Matters: relationships and mental wellbeing. If you need urgent mental health support, visit NHS urgent mental health help. This page is not a crisis service.